she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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