so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
