Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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