Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
