i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
