omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
