And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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