with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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