Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I met the friendliest cop last night
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
