She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
