We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
