jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
