if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
