I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
