fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
