i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
