my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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