You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Randomize
