you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
