so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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