"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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