What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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