Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize