if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
