i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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