Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
