Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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