My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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