Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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