i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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