that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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