Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
