these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
