my sisters under your porch take her home
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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