the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize