If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize