If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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