so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
The air taste purple.
Randomize
