I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize