I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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