Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
