i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
