I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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