is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I could make wine with my vomit
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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