Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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