I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
