Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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