his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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