The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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