so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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