I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
