If that was your dad, he is hot
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
