Your face is a jimmy john
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
