Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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