we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
