Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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